Things I would write about, were I not so damn busy.
1- Is it stupid to confess that I love the little jerky captioned photos inside the office supplies catalog? (“After being late to his third meeting, Scooter was forced to live up to his name”)
2- The way I sometimes listen to lyrics and am blown away by the sheer elegance and beauty of what other people have to say.
3- Japanese Fart Porn. (No, not really.)
4- Drinking Zima doesn’t make me a bad person.
5- People’s perceived adorableness vs. reality as seen by rest of world.
6- My favorite restaurants.
7- Top 10 books/CDs/Songs/Movies
8- How to disappear.
9- What I Would Change About Myself If I Could.
10- What I’d Change About The World If I Could.
11- People I’d love throw into a gaping, bottomless hole.
12- If I know it’s bad for me, why do I do it?
13- Adults in cartoon-themed clothing.
14- Honestly, what did 9/11 change?
15- How I saved my own life with arts and crafts.
16- The places I’d like to visit, and with whom.
17- Artists that have achieved enormous fame despite having no talent. See also: Jennifer Lopez.
18- What I would do if I suddenly became the King.
19- I don’t care if you don’t like it, I do.
20- If I could change my name, what I’d change it to.
21- Who I would take a bullet for. Why.
22- Who I would definitely not take a bullet for. Why.
23- The flame I still carry for Uma Thurman.
24- How I feel about naked people.
25- What I think my life will be like when I’m 50.
26- Do I have cancer? What’s that weird bump?
27- Other people’s nervous tics that make me homicidal.
28- My DMV building. A blow torch. Would I be blamed?
29- People on whom I’ve had crushes.
30- Phrases and words I’d like banished from the world lexicon.